My December
by Jasmine 282
Summary: Max looks back during a rough time.


**My December**

  
Disclaimer: I don't even own my car, do you think I own Dark Angel? Not even close...  
Timeline: Post 'And Jesus Brought A Casserole'  
Summary: Max looks back during a rough time.  
  
Song: My December  
Artist: Linkin Park  
  
Author's Notes: This is just a short story that was bugging me for awhile. I had wanted it to be a music video, but it's future related and I don't have the video nor the software to make it. So listen to the song on repeat if you have it. Thanks to Aster and Skye for beta reading!   
  
  
_**This is my December  
This is my time of the year  
This is my December  
This is all so clear  
  
This is my December  
This is my snow-covered home  
This is my December  
This is me alone**_  
  
  
Max softly pulled herself away from Logan and sat up on the bed quickly as to not wake him up. Carefully laying her feet down on the wooden floor, she stood up and padded out to the living room. Making her way to the window on the far side of the room, she looked over her shoulder to see if he had in fact woken up when she left the bed. She detected no sound or movement coming from the room except for the soft sound of his breathing.   
  
She sat down on the window seat, pulling up her legs to her chest, curling up in a ball against the alcove wall. Her head lay on the windowpane, and her arms tightly encircled her legs. Minutes went by and she didn't move an inch. Eyes glazed over, she looked as if she was in a trance as she stared out at the land surrounding the cabin. Snow covered the ground in a delicate white blanket and glistened under the moonlight. Shadows danced around as the clouds moved above, blocking the small but sharp light of the moon and stars in the sky.   
  
It was all very peaceful and it lulled Max into her memories. Past memories that would forever haunt her, especially during this time of year.   
  


*****

  
_The cold didn't faze them. They just ran. Barefoot and only in their regulation nightgowns, they escaped.  
  
Snow crunched under her feet as she ran. Like a cat, she effortlessly flew over the depths of snow. Helicopters hovered overhead, lights searching the forest. Snowmobiles went in every direction, combing the area for her and her siblings. Soldiers on foot ran after them, guns and tazers in hand.   
  
But they kept going.   
  
They were better than them anyway. Faster and more graceful than any human should be, on snow or otherwise. Ducking and hiding behind trees, they managed to elude capture a few minutes longer._   
  


*****

  
_**And I... just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed  
And I... take back all the things I said to make you feel like that  
And I... just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed  
And I... take back all the things I said to you**_  
  
  
Snow started drifting soundlessly to the ground outside the cabin. The trees slowly started turning white as the snow once again covered the leaves. Footprints disappeared under the new snow as the new coat washed away all signs of the day. A squirrel darted across the ground as it raced off somewhere. Soon its tracks were also covered as the snow came down heavier in a blur.   
  
The fog on the window started to dissipate as the temperature difference between the outside air and the cabin slowly disappeared. Earlier they had a fire going, but now only a few embers were still orange and hot. Occasionally one would spark and try to keep the fire alive, but it was almost gone. The room now was very cold, but she did not notice.   
  
Max's hand sneaked up to the window and her fingertips touched the cold glass as they traced the drops of snow falling outside. Matching tears silently fell down her face as the memories continued to haunt her.   
  


*****

  
_She kept running. Turning here and there, maneuvering around the trees and brush as she fled the compound. A log lying on its side on the ground came into view and her siblings peeked over it as she came closer. Leaping over and joining them, they waited for the others to arrive.   
  
The air was heavy with anticipation as they waited to make sure their siblings made it. Sirens rang in the distance and the engines of the snowmobiles whirred close-by. Finally Zack turned to them and started making signals to split up. Pairs of them scampered off and started running toward the perimeter fence.   
  
When Zack pointed to her and Jondy, she shook her head. She didn't want to split up. But he shook his head right back at her and again gave the order to run. So they ran. She stopped and paused to look back as her brother, Zack, was taken down. But her sister grabbed her arm, pulling her along so that they might have a chance of escape.   
  
The ice broke underneath her and she fell beneath the sheet of ice and snow. Jondy cried out her name and tried to help her out but the helicopter search light found them and Jondy ran, leaving her behind. She stared up through the ice, watching the hummers and snowmobiles retreat to look elsewhere. Later she finally made it, making it to the road where Hannah picked her up. _   
  


*****

  
_**And I'd give it all away  
Just to have somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone to come home to**_  
  
  
Max stirred from her memories and truly looked out at the world surrounding her. The snow was beautiful and over the past few years she had even managed to enjoy it. Logan tried his hardest to make her comfortable and make everything relaxing and peaceful. And the snow was one such thing. But with the snow came her memories, and there was nothing she could do about it.   
  
It was a tradition of theirs, Max and Logan, to come up to the cabin in December. For three years now, they spent a couple of weeks or all of December at Logan's family cabin. They both realized that this month was a hard time of the year for her and she needed time for herself, away from everything. So they trekked up to the cabin and left everything behind in Seattle.   
  
The memories of the escape of '09 were not the only memories that haunted her during December. For it was not her only escape. Three years ago she ran once more through the snow...  
  


*****

  
_Months had gone by and she had resisted and fought the reprogramming. Finally she gave in and broke. Or so they thought. She was still there in heart, and a soldier only for appearances. Today she planned to escape. Staff was low and only the minimum security was present. Even Renfro was off the base and away.   
  
For it was Christmas. A holiday not for the Manticore soldiers, the X5's and above, just a personal day of training and no classes. She walked around the base that morning freely and kept an eye on everyone. No one distrusted her anymore and she was thankful for that. Slipping into the computer room, she slid a disk into the mainframe and quickly pulled up a few screens, typing in commands and covering up her tracks as she went along. If everything went as planned, this would keep the communications down for a few minutes and the fences dead of electricity just in case of any problems.   
  
After a few minutes, she ejected the disk and opened the door quietly, checking the outer hallway to make sure no one was around. When satisfied, she exited the room and walked back down the hallway to doors leading to the outside. She was dressed in her running gear, appearing like she was taking her daily run. Instead she was going to be running for her life.   
  
She began her run at a brisk jog in the normal direction but at a certain point she broke away. Keeping it at a normal pace, she tried not to arouse suspicion. But it was too much to ask for. A few minutes later she could hear the shouts of the guards and sirens roared across the compound.   
  
Breaking into an all out run, she kept going, taking the same route as ten years before. Again there was snow on the ground and she flew like the cat within her. Except this time she was the only target and she had no siblings there with her as she ran. _  
  


*****

  
_**This is my December  
These are my snow-covered trees  
This is me pretending  
This is all I need**_  
  
  
Max's heart started beating fast as she remembered her second escape. It was still all too familiar and it felt like yesterday. With the snow swirling right outside the window, she almost felt like she was back there at Manticore. Running as quick as she could, knowing the snowmobiles were gaining on her every minute.   
  
But now she was at the cabin, miles away from Manticore. Yes there was snow, and yes the forest surrounding the cabin looked like the forest on Manticore's base, but she was not there anymore. She had escaped, and she would never return.   
  
The snow was just a reminder, a reminder of her past but also of her future and her freedom.   
  


*****

  
_She was lucky this time that she had proper snow boots to run in and warm clothing unlike the previous escape. The snow was not as deep, but it was starting to snow heavily. Yet the snowfall would be helpful, for she could see fine through it, but those chasing her would not.   
  
There was no pause to catch up with her siblings so she ran past the log and continued to the perimeter fence. A helicopter was soon in the air and she wondered how long it would be till it found her. It was daylight this time and they would have an easier time seeing her run through the forest. But if the snow kept up, it would be thick and white, and the helicopter lights might not penetrate it.   
  
Her breathing became heavy as she ran, but it did not slow her down. She could run for miles if needed. And today she would. Hannah would not be picking her up today, and she couldn't rely or trust anyone if she did see someone on the road. Finally the fence came into view. Years ago she had to climb it, but now she easily jumped it just as she had jumped it to sneak in only seven months ago.   
  
She landed in a crouch and looked around hurriedly to make sure no guards were in sight. Finding no one, she ran for the road and to the closest city. Next stop: Seattle. _  
  


*****

  
_**And I... just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed  
And I... take back all the things I said to make you feel like that  
And I... just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed  
And I... take back all the things I said to you**_  
  
  
Noise in the next room brought Max back to the present. Listening carefully she heard Logan wake up and realize she was gone. He pushed back the covers and settled himself in his chair. Brakes unlocked, he pushed himself to the living room where she sat quietly.   
  
At the entrance to the living room, he spotted her and made his way to the couch. Picking up a blanket and putting it in his lap, he rolled to her side. Without a word he covered her in the blanket and grabbed her hand as she shifted and let it fall down to her side. Together they held onto each other tightly. She said nothing and knew he expected nothing from her. He was there for her and would never make her do anything she didn't want to.   
  
It had been his idea to come here the first time three years ago. She had finally made it back to Seattle, back home to Logan.   
  


*****

  
_She looked up at Fogle Towers with tears in her eyes. Worn out, having been on the run since eight in the morning and catching rides all day, she just wanted to collapse. Walking in the lobby, she passed the security guard and smiled at him. He waved and tossed her the access card to reach the penthouse in the elevator. She was grateful; she didn't feel like taking the stairs.   
  
Wearily she made the few steps to the elevator and sank down inside after swiping the access card. Floor by floor, it steadily rose up through the building and finally stopped at the penthouse. The elevator chimed and the door opened. Rising, she exited the elevator and stood outside his front door.   
  
With a surge of energy knowing she was just several feet away from Logan, she picked the lock and stepped inside. Taking a deep breath, she looked around for him and noticed the apartment had not changed. She smiled and hoped he had not changed either.   
  
The familiar sound of his chair caught her attention and she whipped her head in the direction of the noise. For a moment she couldn't breathe. There he sat staring at her, a little dumbfounded, but a smile broke out a moment later.   
  
She ran towards him, tears falling from her eyes again. Before she would have cursed herself for showing such emotion, but now she brushed it aside. She collapsed in his lap and curled herself in a ball against his chest. His arms wrapped around her and she felt tears dropping on her from him as well. All she heard was him muttering nonsense, but it did not matter to her.   
  
She was home. _  
  


*****

  
_**And I'd give it all away  
Just to have somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone to come home to**_  
  
  
Max turned to Logan and smiled. Everything had turned out alright. The good memories outweighed the bad and now she was here with Logan. She squeezed his hand knowing he would always be there for her. Sitting up and moving forward she motioned for him to join her.   
  
He smiled, let go of her hand and maneuvered himself up to join her on the window seat. Sitting behind her with his back to the wall, he eased Max to lean back against his chest. Curled up together, they sat silently not wanting to break the peacefulness of the night. The snow fell outside as they stared out, comforted by each other's presence.   
  
Each year they come up here to be with each other with no one and nothing to bother them. Three years ago, that Christmas he had decided she needed rest, and every year since then they came to remember the past and celebrate the future.   
  


*****

  
_That night she had collapsed in his lap, and he took care of her the rest of the night. He clothed her in warm clothes, fed her warm soup, and let her relax. She said nothing, and he did not push. For now she couldn't explain the past few months or even that day.   
  
The next day he packed up clothes and food and they drove out to the cabin. For days she was quiet, drawn in, and cried often. She stared out the window often for hours not moving or saying a word. Logan accommodated her the best he could and just waited for her to open up. He was too happy to see her to prod her in any way.   
  
Finally after a couple days, she poured out everything that had happened over the past months and about the escape. He held her as she told him about Zack's sacrifice and the torture she went through. She recounted the escape and all the memories that tore at her. And through it all, he was there for her and never left her side. _  
  


*****

  
_**This is my December  
This is my time of the year  
This is my December  
This is all so clear**_  
  
  
Max never left Logan's side anymore, except for work or an Eyes Only mission. She moved into his place and vowed never to leave him again. Logan felt the same way and made sure she never came into harm's way, not if he could help it. For months he had lived thinking she was dead, and now she was his again.   
  
A year after her return, he noticed her dread at the upcoming December month. So he suggested they once again go up to the cabin and she agreed. It was a time of pain, but also of happiness. The snow brought back memories of her escape but Logan also showed her how to enjoy it. Together they played in the snow and each year she came closer to mending her wounds.   
  
Like every year, they sat together at the window staring out at the snow. Now, an hour later, Logan gently caressed Max's hair and kissed her on her cheek as she lay back on his shoulder.   
  
"Bed?" he asked, whispering. Max turned to him and smiled, nodding her agreement. She sat up to allow him to move to his chair. He pulled her down on his lap, blanket and all, and they moved quietly to the bedroom for the night. And for the rest of their December.   
  
  
_**Give it all away  
Just to have somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone to come home to  
  
Give it all away  
Just to have somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone to come home to**_  
  



End file.
